Forgettable Pharma Marketing: The Unofficial Guide

Step 1: Build Your Strategy Around Competitors

Start by analysing everything your competitors do.

Track their messaging.
Benchmark their activity.
Map their positioning.

Use this to define your own strategy.

Aim for data differentiation.

Arrive at something highly informed…that your customers don’t care about.

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Step 2: Focus Entirely On Your Product

Keep your content centred on what matters most: Your product.

Mechanism of action.
Clinical data.
Core claims.

Lead with your strongest evidence. Then reinforce it. Repeatedly.

If certain data points feel weak, leave them out. If you don’t highlight them, they won’t be noticed.

HCPs seemingly care only about product data, completely disregarding values like transparency, authenticity, or trust.

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Step 3: Measure Delivery, Not Impact

Track what you can control.

Reach.
Frequency.
Volume.

Ensure your messages are widely distributed.

Interpret activity as value.
Interpret visibility of product data as success.

If asked about impact, reframe your metrics as “engagement.”

Avoid measuring outcomes that introduce ambiguity.

Do not measure:
– Lead generation
– NPS
– Cost per acquisition

These may complicate reporting, lead to learning, and change.
And nobody wants change.

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Step 4: Use Established Channels

Select channels based on precedent.

Prioritise familiarity over effectiveness.

Deflect hard questions by referencing vague “internal standards”:
Drop the ultimate, change-resistant anchor: “That’s how we’ve always done it.”

If the room suddenly starts looking nervous:
Throw out the classic, panic-button line: “It got approved last time.”

Ensure decisions always remain comfortable and defensible.

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Step 5: Invest In Capability

Focus on infrastructure and trends.

New platforms and frameworks.
Omnichannel models.
Anything AI.

Position this as transformation.

Ensure internal alignment.

Defer consideration of HCP experience and impact until later stages.

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Step 6: Engage Familiar Partners

Work with established consultancies and agencies. The bigger and safer the better.

Avoid anything disruptive that might challenge your thinking or expose your lack of impact.

The goal is to maintain status quo and avoid problems.

If problems arise, compare potential partners by asking them to fill in spreadsheets.
Compare hourly rates and choose the cheapest.

Congrats, you separated the best from the rest!

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Step 7: Avoid Testing

Do not test campaigns.

Do not review user experience.

Never invite HCPs or patients to anything that informs capability or strategy.

All the above may introduce unnecessary friction.

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Step 10: Optimise Congress Presence

Ensure strong visual presence at all conferences.

Secure high-profile speakers and give them slides filled with data.

Populate sessions with everyone and anyone (this is your key KPI).

Avoid excessive audience interaction and discourage challenging questions.

Evaluate success based on coffees distributed and booth badge scans.

Re-engagement and commercial impact are not essential.